Who needs Google when you have Activerain?
I received a suspicious e-mail today from an individual named Elvis Baker, Private Relocation Agent. He says his clientele includes celebrities, government officials and other clients from the Gulf region. Big fat hairy deal. i'm surprised he didn't put a "Mr." in front of his name, he's so gosh darn dignified and all.
I read through the e-mail(which I will copy below) - basically, Elvis says he needs a residence for his client and client's mistress in Burien of all places. (Maybe Mr. and Mistress Moneybags would be interested in attending a "Raising Backyard Chickens" workshop with me once they move here and become my neighbor!). Anyway...
ROFLMAO. That was the first sign that something was amiss.
So this "Mr. Baker" is asking me to send him listings according to the criteria he gives, with a price range of between $500,000 and $1 Million Dollars! And they would be paying CASH!
I read the e-mail all the way through, and being the gullible sort that I am, read through it again before deciding to take further action. I checked the address and the message line; there was no [quarantine] sign, it looked like a normal e-mail.
I opened a new browser window. Did I go to Google? Nope. I wanted real answers...so I went straight to...
So I hit the "Search" button and typed "Elvis Baker" in the search field. I saw what I wanted right there in the first listing. It was from a blog post written by Anna Baron entitled, "Craigslist Scam". Her post described a different situation, but there was a comment by John Muckleroy on April 21, 2008 that detailed the exact e-mail.
In a matter of seconds I had the answer I needed. Elvis was indeed a scammer, but thanks to Anna, John and Activerain I won't have to wonder if I gave a cash buyer the cold shoulder, and I don't have to stare at the e-mail thinking, "What if?". After all, I may be gullible, but I'm not stupid.
"Elvis Baker", you can cram it!
Here's the e-mail, FYI:
Dear Bosques Lisa,
I am a private relocation agent in the CANADA serving a niche market for top celebrities, government officials and clients from the Gulf region (mainly Qatar, UAE, Saudi Arabia and Russia) in meeting their relocation needs.
My clients needs vary considerably. Some of the services I provide to my clients range from simple acquisition of residential properties to assisting their siblings/mistresses settle down in a new country and acquisition of commercial properties.
One of my clients on this occasion has indicated interest in the acquisition of a residential property in the USA particularly in BURIEN for his mistress. Considering the financial implications of my travelling, your expertise, local knowledge and high hotel expenses of my stay, I have chosen to contact you on subject. Would you be kind enough to forward to me by email attachment some of the properties you have on your listing pursuant to this urgent need. To help narrow the search, I have outlined some of the specifics my client has given.
*Minimum of three bedrooms
*Minimum of two baths
*Property must be a stand-alone (Fully Detached) house and not communal residence/block of flats
*Secure Private parking for at least two cars
*Available budget …$500,000 - $1M USD
*Choice residential location offering outright purchase
*Time frame given is three weeks
*Proximity to shopping mall and at the most 10 to 20 miles radius of a city centre
Please consider that my client on this occasion is expecting from me, a fast and excellent service as he has got some urgent family issues and has reposed confidence in me based on my track record from serving his friends and associates in the past. Be very free to contact me ASAP with details of any property reflecting the specifics above to discuss the way forward.
Be sure that we shall both be very clear on issues relating to fees/percentages and client meetings beforehand.
Thank you for your cooperation.
ELVIS BAKER (A.K.A. CHUMP)
PRIVATE RELOCATION AGENT